Are Dating Apps Making Cheating Easier In India, And Is Infidelity Justified? Unhappy Marriages, Unresolved Conflicts, And Hunger For Validation

Extra-marital affairs are not new globally. But the latest report released by Ashley Madison, a global dating platform that's known for facilitating extra-marital relationships, shows that India now ranks as the world’s number-one country for admitted infidelity. More than half of the surveyed Indian adults have confessed to having had an affair despite being married. Within India, Tamil Nadu tops the chart, specifically in the small town of Kanchipuram. The temple town has surged from 17th place last year to number one in the nation for sign-ups and activity on the platform in just one year.

Interestingly, Mumbai didn’t make it to the top 20, showing the shifting dynamics that conventionally favour tier-2 and tier-3 cities in this debate. The survey rankings are based not just on raw sign-ups but also on user activity and engagement intensity, which suggests a serious rise in infidelity interest across smaller urban centres.

Why Do People Cheat?

A recent survey by Ipsos-Gleeden notes that over 1,500 adults across major cities revealed that 51% felt emotionally unfulfilled despite otherwise stable relationships, with Gen X respondents especially prone to emotional discontent, were 55%. Psychotherapist Ashka Patel from Mumbai says affairs often stem from a feeling of 'deadness' in a relationship, where partners feel alienated, empty or unseen rather than sexually deprived. She insists that affairs are more often about loneliness, resentment and a longing to feel alive again.

Psychologists and relationship coaches have noted that humans naturally crave variety and novelty in every sphere of their lives, and relationships are no different. Neurologically, the thrill of a new affair can release dopamine, which makes one feel emotionally high, which is validating, even if it's short-lived. Individuals with low self-worth may seek affirmation through affairs. Ashka puts it plainly: “If someone struggles with low self-esteem, they might turn to an affair as a way to feel wanted, admired, or attractive again.” Others say impulsivity or narcissistic traits can be the risk factors. "These individuals crave attention, excitement, or sexual novelty."

Many experts agree that cheating is a temporary escape from unresolved communication breakdowns, resentment, or conflicts within the relationship. This means that, rather than addressing issues in the existing relationship, some individuals choose an affair as a misguided coping mechanism.

Cheating in the Digital Age

Amidst this, dating apps shrink the barriers to infidelity by providing a way to discreet and anonymous connections. This ease of access tempts an individual to 'give it a try' who otherwise may not take such a step. The newly found partner often meets the emotional and sexual needs, even if it is short-lived. This way, the individual also gets attention and validation that the person may be missing in the primary relationship.

Dr Pawan Gupta, with an experience of 15 years in sex therapy, says that emotional disconnection is often the key reason for affairs and not sex. "Affairs are love’s desperate plea to feel alive again," says Dr Gupta. Counselling Psychologist and Relationship Coach Khushi Mehra argues that infidelity rarely starts from any malicious intent. "People often cheat because they haven’t learned to communicate when vulnerable or speak about their emotional issues in healthy ways," says the psychologist.

Cheating Isn't a Mistake, It's A Violation

While there may be reasons for one to cheat on another partner, in no way can infidelity be justified. It not only inflicts emotional trauma, loss of trust, after being betrayed by the partner, but also inflicts anxiety, depression, and PTSD-like symptoms. Even when extramarital affairs arise from psychological or emotional voids, they violate the partner’s dignity and autonomy, and often leave irreversible relational damage. "There is no excuse for breaking trust, even if someone feels neglected or unfulfilled. Empathy for unfulfilled emotions is not an endorsement of betrayal," says Advocate Ishta Saxena.

Shikha and Kishan (names changed) were married when Kishan had an undisclosed affair. "I got to know about his affair after a few months of our marriage. He apologised and I gave our marriage a second chance. After our daughter was born, he had another affair, which went on for at least 3 years. They used to travel together, but he told me it was a work trip. I gave the marriage a second chance, but forgot that 'once a thief, always a thief'. I filed for divorce and dragged the girl as well to the legal proceedings. It will take me some time to overcome this, but as of now, there's so much rage and feeling of revenge," says Shikha. It seems that affairs begin with emotional attachments, co-worker connections, or secret conversations on the phone or in person, but only lead to betrayal, leaving one with emotional scars and sometimes, clarity.

Why Affairs Are No Longer Just Urban

Moreover, contrary to popular belief that extra-marital affairs are an urban phenomenon and for elite socials, small towns are ranking high on the infidelity list. This particular survey suggests a small town like Kanchipuram as an infidelity hotspot. This means infidelity is tied to emotional struggles, modern social dynamics, and the opportunities extended by technology. While urban hubs like Mumbai, Bengaluru, and Chennai are traditionally perceived as hotbeds of modern dating culture, the report shows that the infidelity surge is led by smaller towns and tier-2 cities. Reason? "Emotional isolation, unmet needs, and broken communication are the core drivers. And dating platforms amplify the temptation," says Tanushree.

While understanding the motivations behind infidelity is important, cheating cannot be justified; it is always a choice that hurts the other partner. "Relationships may heal after the infidelity chapter, but both partners need to address the underlying voids through open dialogue, therapy, and mutual accountability," says Dr Gupta.

Smartphones... The New Playground For Cheating

Let's not ignore the digital access that has widened the playing field, thanks to widespread smartphone penetration, high-speed data, and social media reach. Even remote towns now have easy access to dating apps. What was once a metropolitan phenomenon is now a rural reality. Another reason could also be tight-knit communities with hidden lives. In smaller towns, social stigma is high and personal freedom is limited.

"Many individuals feel suffocated in rigid, traditional marriages but don’t have the cultural space to talk openly about desires or dissatisfaction. This leads to secret lives and outside romantic relationships," says Psychotherapist Patel. She further points out that a lack of emotional expression in a conservative setup can also lead to infidelity. "In small towns, emotional needs are rarely acknowledged, let alone met. Marriages are functional but not fulfilling. People are told to ‘adjust'. In this situation, even the smallest attention from an outsider would feel like a breath of fresh air,” says the psychotherapist.

Cheating Doesn't Know Geography

Surprisingly, metros like Mumbai didn’t even feature in the top 20 infidelity hotspots. Experts say that’s because urban couples are more open about their relationship challenges. They often seek counselling or explore alternative relationship models like polyamory or open marriages. There’s also more social movement and less dependency, which allows unhappy individuals to exit rather than stick around. And paradoxically, exposure propagates caution as metro users may be more conscious of leaving digital footprints and may avoid dating platforms due to privacy concerns.

This trend shows that infidelity isn’t just a big-city indulgence anymore. It has become a pan-India emotional crisis. It is backed by modern tech and the age-old silence around marital dissatisfaction. "There’s a silence around emotional intimacy. Marriages are often treated as social contracts, not emotional partnerships. When people can’t express loneliness or unmet needs openly, they seek connection outside and keep it a secret, and that’s where infidelity finds a space to grow,” says Ritika Agarwal, Counselling Psychologist and Relationship Coach in Mumbai. She adds, “Dating apps don’t create cheaters, but they make cheating easier. In the past, someone may have quietly suffered in an unhappy marriage. Now, there’s an app to match that frustration with someone else’s.”

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