Dating In Times Of Apps: How Women Are Reshaping Their Relationships–One Swipe At A Time

Gone are the days when women would settle for anyone their parents would choose and spend the rest of their lives sulking into domes. Women have finally found their worth and are not ready to settle for anything less. They are not open to anyone who shows up with the bare minimum of kindness and effort. The latest survey done by a dating app called QuackQuack notes that 3 in 5 female daters have become significantly more selective while finding a match on dating apps.

Women now have started setting expectations and look for green flags before moving for a healthy relationship. Moreover, this trend is not about being picky or demanding but being selective and expecting a long-lasting relationship. Women are now realising that they too can get what their heart desires, without settling. "We are seeing more of our female users leading with clarity, and it has changed the power dynamics on dating apps and led to a better and more sustainable match rate," says Ravi Mittal, the founder of the dating app.

What Women Want?

'You Up?', the text message most girls would agree have received at one point in time, especially post the mobile phone era, has now been treated as last season and meaningless. Women are now focusing on the emotional quotient of their matches. For them, attributes like height or having a six-pack are no longer the deciding factor in attraction. "Physical traits might add a little extra charm, but emotional maturity and understanding are more important than appearance," says Prathibha Padmanabhan, an architect in Chennai.

Women now have to set expectations and look for green flags before moving for a healthy relationship (Representational Image) (Getty Images)

Ishika, a 28-year-old from Delhi shares that dating apps give a lot of choices but finding the one that clicks us is up to an individual. "You have to take the time to see how well someone treats you. A few compliments or occasional texting is too low a bar to set to match with a guy. I care to see how my match behaves after the initial excitement of talking to someone new is over," says Ishika, (second name undisclosed on request).

More than Red and Green Flags

When the concept of looking for red flags came into the picture a few years back, women started looking for things that otherwise were normal but were some way abusive and disturbing. They stepped back as soon as they noticed something that could be termed a 'red flag'. Similarly, the green flag is about looking for the generosity and care the man has to offer. Now women are more focused on looking at green flags and also accepting a few red flags, as 'no one is perfect'.

Some of the most desired qualities women look for in a man are how they treat people in general and compatible values are on the top. 36-year-old Dipa Gajrkar, an HR professional in Mumbai says she doesn't look for any generic personality traits such as travelling, has political opinions, and likes sports. "I think I have crossed that age. I now look for more real things and what they are passionate about and if they respect another person with their passion and how much they are open to support that," says Gajrkar.

Some of the most desired qualities women look for in a man are how they treat people in general and compatible values are on the top. (Representational Image) (Getty Images)

Are You Serious?

Yes, women are looking for something more serious than just a time-being relationship. They are not open to casually exploring or waiting to see how things go after some time and then taking a call. Women are now clearly stating their desires without fear of being perceived as 'demanding too much'. Nirtika Pandita, a content writer in Mumbai says she is clear of what she expects from a relationship. "If the person thinks I am too demanding and asking too much, I don't need that person. Dude, they have to accept that time is changing and women are evolving so they are not going to accept everything that you come with. I set rules and if someone matches, it's fine, if not, then move on," says Pandita.

Waiting 'For You'

Rushing into a relationship is not common anymore. Women are ready to wait as long as it takes to find a perfect match. While men match more, women are spending more time finding a potential match. They are now also checking how the two are 'vibing' with each other and if their goals of a relationship are matching or not. "I don't rush in matching and meeting people. I wait for a right match when I know it can work out, only then I will swipe right and start taking it forward," says Patwa.

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