How Infertility Affects Men's Mental Health
Silently, many men suffer from feelings of shame, failure, and helplessness without receiving the emotional support they need.
Published : August 23, 2025 at 12:51 PM IST
Infertility affects both women and men, physically, emotionally, and mentally. While women are known to have suffer more due to societal pressure, men suffer in silence. They suffer from feelings of shame, failure, and helplessness without receiving any emotional support. This is also because being father is correlated with identity, masculinity, and pride in many cultures. It can be difficult to build a strong foundation when infertility comes to the picture. "Having low sperm counts or other fertility issues can make a man doubt his worth or feel less manly. These feelings are not only emotional but also affect how he sees himself in daily life at work, social settings, or even in the relationship," says Dr Giriraja Velayutham, Consultant, Urology and Renal Transplant at Aster CMI Hospital in Bangalore.
Guilt of letting down
It is difficult for most men to accept the possibility of not bein able to have children emotionally. The news often comes with shock, denial, and confusion. On the other hand, for women, it is more accepting as they can talk to friends, family, or doctors more openly. Men tend to bottle up their emotions. "This emotional silence can lead to anxiety, stress, low self-esteem, and even depression," says Dr Velayutham. The expert confirms that some men also feel guilt of letting down their partner or their family.
Challenges in the Relationship
Infertility impacts relationships as it causes emotional strain, communication breakdowns, and resentment, which makes sexual relationship a chore. This adds to the relationship between the couple. Infertility can bring couples closer, but it can also create distance. Dr Velayutham says that men may withdraw emotionally or become irritable. "Communication ma suffer, which can lead intimacy to fade. Some couples may avoid physical closeness completely. This is because men feel embarrassed and inadequacy," says the Urologist. He also adds that fertility treatments only add to their stress, especially the pressure to perform during times intercourses. "If the partner is undergoing a medical procedure, men may feel helpless and unsure of how to support her while managing his own pain," says the doctor.
Social Expectations
The social stigma around male infertility makes it worse. Men are less likely to open up to friends or colleagues about their condition. Society still tends to expect men to be strong and not show vulnerability. As a result, many suffer in silence and believe that they must carry this emotional weight alone. "This isolation can lead to unhealthy coping mechanisms, such as substance abuse, overworking, or a complete emotional shutdown," warns Dr Velayutham.
Financially Stress
Fertility treatments are expensive, which is also a factor for added stress on men. The treatment is also not covered by insurance plans, which puts man in even more difficult situation. He has to provide financially for thee treatments while also coping which the emotional load. This can be overwhelming for men. However, Dr Velayutham says that there's hope. "Awareness about men's infertility is important for mental health. Men should have support groups, counsel groups, and online communities where they can talk about their experiences without judgement," says Dr Velayutham.
Mutual Support
Moreover, partner's support is essential. This applies to both the partner to share the same journey together. Open communication, expressing love and acceptance, and seeking help together can ease the emotional burden. "Doctors and fertility experts also need to be sensitive, especially toward mental health aspect of the couple. It is advised to seek help from mental health professional when needed," he suggests.
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