Meet The Large Families Of Bihar... On The International Day Of Families

Patna: Aromas of various dishes being cooked wafted around us as we gingerly entered the 'Chandel Niwas' – a tightly built campus packed with eight buildings – tucked in the West Lohanipur locality in central Patna.

We were in search of one of the largest families to mark the International Day of Families, at a time when family sizes are increasingly shrinking and becoming nuclear across the globe. But the aromas hitting us from different directions dissuaded us from going any further, until 45-year-old Amit Gautam, a manager in a multinational firm, beckoned us.

"Don't hesitate. You are at the right place," he told ETV Bharat, and understanding our trepidation, added, "We are a family of 165 people spread across five generations, yet living together in the 72 rooms available to us here."

The family misses the world's largest one of Ziona Chana (passed away in 2021) of Mizoram by a whisker. It had 167 members living in a four-storeyed building having 100 rooms.

Amit's father Arun Kumar Singh, who retired from the CBI, revealed the family hails from Raghopur diara (riverine area) along the Ganga in the Vaishali district, and his parents and uncles decided to settle in Patna in 1974. They bought the piece of land and constructed a house on it. The family grew with time and more buildings were added to provide space.

"Altogether 16 descendants of my father and uncles live here together with their wives, children, grandchildren, and great-grandchildren as a joint family, sharing their happiness, sorrow and difficulties. Some are working in other cities, states and countries now, but at any given time you will find around 100 of us residing here. Everybody is home during festivals, marriages and other important occasions," Arun said.

Meanwhile, Arun’s elder brothers, including 87-year-old Ravi Shankar Singh, a former Intelligence Bureau official, several women and children assembled at one place in a show of togetherness.

"We live together, sharing our happiness, sadness, and problems. It not only provides security but is also fun. Sometimes, there are trifling issues that are sorted out amicably. There is never any serious dispute," said Arun's wife, Geeta Devi.

But what about different kitchens? Amit shared that they became necessary because it was too difficult to make rotis for the entire family in one kitchen.

"Besides, those of the younger generation cultivated their own tastes and demanded food as per their liking. So the kitchens went separate around 20 years ago," he added.

Another member of the family, Surya Deo Prasad Singh pointed out that there were 22 engineers, three doctors and several public servants among them, taking care of each other.

"When I got married into the family, I was apprehensive about how I would survive in the family. But everybody helped me adjust. It is fun now and we enjoy our time together," said Abha Singh, a daughter-in-law of the family and a teacher in St. Joseph’s Convent High School.

Another member, Vibha Singh, chipped in about the development of children in a joint family. “Living together inculcates a sense of healthy competition and bonhomie among the kids. They get to play together, which is a rarity in cities these days and are able to quickly resolve their ‘serious’ problems in no time," Vibha said.

Ask the family about privacy, and they would say that they do not suffer with any such issues and rate the opportunity of staying together far above it.

Among the largest families in Bihar, we cannot leave out the family of 88-year-old Shyam Deo Singh of Sonbarsa panchayat in Rohtas district. It has 144 members, of which 38 are in various government jobs and are posted at different places. However, they all assemble at native place during festivals and special occasions. And when they do so, around 700 rotis (chapatis) are made in the kitchen.

"Previously the women in the family used to cook for everybody, but now we hire professional cooks to cater to everybody. This gives everybody time to catch up with each other. My father takes all decisions, including marriages, pertaining to the family," Shyam Deo's son Sushil Singh said.

Shyam Deo's family also plants trees whenever all the members assemble at their village home. The family of 90-year-old Kanhaiya Prasad and his wife Radhika Devi in Tika Bigha village in Gaya district has 65 members. They all live in a sprawling house spread over two acres of land.

"My father, Kalyan Singh decided in 1920 that all members of his family shall stay together. We have followed it since then. The food is cooked by the women members together. We have kept pace with modern times despite living in a joint family," Kanhaiya told ETV Bharat.

Kanhaiya’s maternal nephew Professor Kailash Prasad said that if all the descendants of Kalyan Singh are counted then the number of the members of the family would go up to around 250, but barring the 65 staying in one campus, the rest have shifted to live in other places.

Similarly, Mohammad Nazir’s family in Jiyagachhi village in Purnea district has 95 members, including 35 children.

Nazir is a farmer and the members of the joint family help him till around 15 acres of land belonging to him. His two younger brothers are school teachers and chip in with their salaries to help the family.

“Our three generations live together. It is cheaper to live this way, provides more helping hands for farming, and gives us a sense of security and togetherness. We are ensuring that all the children in the family get proper education and march ahead in life,” Nazir said.

The International Day of Families is celebrated on May 15 each year to highlight the importance of families, their role in society, and the challenges they face. The day, proclaimed by the United Nations General Assembly in 1993, aims to raise awareness about socio-economic and demographic issues affecting families. It also serves as a platform to acknowledge the diversity of family structures and promote policies that support strong family units.

The theme for International Day of Families 2025 is “Family-Oriented Policies for Sustainable Development: Towards the Second World Summit for Social Development.”